From Reluctant Incarnation to Purposeful Revolutionary…

 image credit Robert Lukeman (Unsplash)

image credit Robert Lukeman (Unsplash)

When you were born in a world you don’t fit in, it’s because you came to create a new one

Every struggle I have, and have ever had in life boils down to this one sentence:

“I’m reluctant to be here.”

The classic feeling of someone who feels like they’ve been dropped off on the wrong planet missing a critical chapter of the instruction manual...

When you are intelligent, compassionate, highly ethical, well-informed and relatively safe and comfortable life can be a daily struggle for reasons you yourself generally don’t ascribe legitimacy to.

You’ve got your wounds sure, but your story sounds like whingeing compared to what others have been through... even so, your inner child is in a constant state of suppressed panic.

Caring and altruistic on the outside, on the inside you’re stretched thin from feeling too much and trying too hard to get it right and make it all ok. You have such a highly developed sense of right and wrong that it’s at the front of your mind in every decision.

Always seeing a better way, you actively seek alternative structures. Even on a limited budget you do your best to shop organic & fair trade, support local farmers’ markets, and recycle every last thing down to your teabag tags, just to assuage the guilt of your personal contribution to the devastation that is humanity on planet earth today. You crave a more Connected existence.

You try to balance what you feel is your social responsibility to be informed with the need to avoid the media at all costs because of the bleakness it makes you feel. Responsibility weighs you down. Really you just want to be light-hearted and play...

Ostensibly you live in the “normal world” even if you interface with it very selectively… but you feel anything but “normal.” 

Trapped.

Alienated.

You’ve never fit in: not at school, not into other people’s expectations, not into traditional career trajectories or relationship roles, and not into the lifestyle of conspicuous consumption. You see consumption for what it is - a blind & futile drive to fill the void that a soulless lifestyle creates, and you want nothing to do with it. But you still have your own aching hole, a longing like the Langöth for a peace that nothing will fill.

When you try to fill the gap in yourself it’s with deep connected relationships, beautiful handmade things, and off-the-beaten track adventures where culture, depth of experience and discovery are way more highly prized than facsimile five star luxury. Short of that maybe some wine or weed...

You might be envious of the blitheness with which some people consume, but you just can’t go there. Being a little bit conscious is like being a little bit pregnant. You can’t UnKnow… When you hear someone paid $6000/ night for an exclusive hotel the shallowness stuns you and you scoff knowing how many conservation projects and Syrian refugees might have appreciated that donation more. Your heart bleeds for the suffering of the powerless. Injustice hits you in your core.

Which brings you to know the seething underbelly of your guilt. Your guilt that you are so safe and you have so much (even when $ are tight), but are quietly discontent; your guilt that your vote never seems to make any difference to the horrendous government policies that progressively consume the world; your guilt that you don’t do more; your guilt that when you feel overwhelmed you snap at the people you love most.

And your resentment. Your suppressed anger could probably explode galaxies. It sits badly with who you want to be. When you don’t make a seriously concerted effort to see the good in people, to see the good in the world, judgement rises up. It’s cynical, scathing and ugly. It feels warranted but it leaves you feeling impotent and full of loathing…

Ultimately “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so…” is what we are all on this path to deeply learn. Massive resistance to that. But we’re so sick of our own story of heart-break and repeating patterns we start to crack open.

Blessed are the cracked, for they let the light in...

And then, when we have marinaded long enough, our innate wisdom arises. We remember <<that which we turn our attention to increases>> and we start to rediscover our power. Still so much resistance from old beliefs and patterns, but we gather momentum and we’re not settling anymore… We just can’t...

When we finally legitimise our own desires and laser focus our attention we become a force, transforming our own lives and those that catch our slipstream...

And at that point, a beautiful thing happens… we look around with wonder to find that we are not alone after all. Emerging from the dust and debris of the crumbling old paradigm, thousands upon thousands of our soul brothers and sisters are doing the same. Some more elegantly, some less, as we shift gears from overwhelm and despair to sovereignty and thriving... but doing it...

It starts to feel like Play, and suddenly we’re up for the Game...

We are waking up: irrevocably influencing the collective consciousness… leading and following many little movements that are overtaking the world the same way the jungle reclaims an abandoned city - from many independent points in concert…

It’s beautiful music.

And your song is part of the harmony, honey.

So out of that cage now...

It’s not locked…

At long last,

We are remembering that missing chapter...

 

<3 Giselle xo