“Damaged goods.” I first heard that phrase from the lips of a woman describing her husband who was the only survivor of a family tragedy. The finality in her tone really struck me. And it was her explanation for everything that was wrong in their relationship.
Damage, damage, damage… 7 billion unique versions of damaged goods, some of us taking our first hits whilst still in the womb. Some bear scars, others only echoes of earlier experiences, forever colouring their lens of life… All of us gifted with excuses why we can’t be happy, healthy and fulfilled.
As a student naturopath, I hung out with a young man who had been in practice for a couple of years. “One year to do the damage, 5 years to undo…” he said. How grim. At 19, and in relatively good health I thought of all the antibiotics I had swallowed, my 3 years on the pill, and thought I had probably clocked up 10 years of diligent restorative work already. Heavy! And I had a neat backlog of emotional wounds from my formative years too.
Later, in clinic, as a naturopath/homeopath I developed something of a talent for honing in on the damage. All my life people have singled me out to confide in. That worked for me professionally because I could create safe space, invite my client to talk and regardless of whether they were presenting to me with a physical complaint or mental/emotional struggles when we got to the bit where their energy was “stuck” (picture a stream with some debris causing a back eddy)... I would get shivers down my right side and we would hone in. Then, between my skills and my remedies, to the best of my ability I would holistically assist the mind-body-spirit undoing of their tangle.
Largely that was very satisfying and transformative, however sometimes, we got the inner shifts but the physical stayed stuck. It was like the dis-ease patterns got so deeply embedded in the body that they didn’t want to shift. I could only conclude that sometimes the lesson of the malady wasn’t complete and there was nothing more I had the power to influence at this time. But still I longed for ways to help more, to be able to undo what was stuck there in the physical more effectively… And I longed to be able to shift my own stuck bits, because everything I knew did not seem to be enough.
12 years and a lot more damage later, meridian tapping (EFT - emotional field therapy) entered my life, and though I totally resisted doing it, I made myself give it a red hot go. I shifted my own junk so profoundly and so quickly that I could do naught else but adopt the technique, blend it with my other healing skills and make it my own.
And that was when I stopped framing my understanding as “damage that needed fixing” and started seeing everything as patterns that could be shifted, flipped, altered, augmented, upgraded in order for wholeness to emerge. When I stopped believing in damage, healing stopped being hard.
A belief is nothing more than a practised thought that we become so familiar with we make it personal. When I started swapping out my beliefs in the same way one would Spring clean, I experienced how much that changes experience. I love it when my clients get that same dawning of understanding of how powerful they truly are.
That which we resist persists. So on a personal level, when we focus on the problem, we grow the problem bigger. We can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it, therefore it follows that a new way of thinking is required to invite a solution. Whether on a personal level or a collective global level, we need a “new mind”. And I firmly believe that every individual mind that upgrades, also upgrades the collective consciousness. It’s “the shift…”
Now whenever I find myself in effort or struggle I ask myself, “What am I creating here for myself? What am I contributing back into the collective consciousness? Am I contributing my energy to the problems of the world or the solutions? And how can I lighten that?”
Before I really got this, I had paid lip service to the notion that we are not bodies with a soul, we are eternal souls having a human experience. But when I experienced my power to alter my reality I really started living it. I hardly ever forget these days that I’m an old soul wearing an earth suit.
I was whole and complete before I was born, when I was born, throughout all my experiences and still am now. When I traded my belief in damage for a belief in wholeness, healing finally stopped needing to be long, hard, heavy, and like a punishment. It could be more like flying than crawling on hands and knees. And when I started to feel whole, rather than damaged, I had more energy to give, both to myself and to my loved ones around me.
A friend, a beautiful strong mama and midwife once described to me the image of being Mother to yourself - taking the image of yourself on your own knee and responding to yourself like an unconditionally loving mother… I’ve shared that image many times since to help women be compassionate towards themselves, and taken it a step further.
My best analogy for how I operate now is to undo old patterns with the left hand, create new ones with my right hand and live in the Now from a calm centre. I strongly differentiate between my great, huge, vast, eternal soul-self and my poor darling human self who has taken the hits... so the only self-talk I allow on the inside of me now is in the language of unconditional love and infinite compassion.
And that helps a lot because if I always referenced my human locus of “self,” I wouldn’t always feel as though I was worthy or deserving of that unconditional love and compassion… indeed I used to dish myself a lot of criticism and subtle punishment.
There’s a beautiful story of the golden buddha. Have you heard it? Over 300 years ago, Siamese monks protected an enormous golden statue of Buddha from Burmese plunder by caking the statue in 12 inches of clay. The monks all perished in the attack and it was not until the 1950s, when it was undertaken to move the Buddha, that the discovery of its true nature was made. In the first attempt to move it by crane the statue proved much heavier than expected and the clay began to crack. The statue was set down and covered with tarps for protection from the rains whilst a larger crane was sought. In the night, one of the monks came to check on the tarp covering and noticed a gleam. He carefully chiselled around the crack and found the gold underneath. As the clay fell away, the undamaged solid gold buddha (today estimated to be worth more than $200 million) was revealed.
Are you picking up what I’m putting down?
I can’t tell you how much I love helping intelligent, intuitive and soulful women reframe their perceptions and then REALISE who they truly are and what they are capable of.
When these activated women stop living from frustration and start shining their light, not only do they upgrade their own lives, they bring all those they care about along with them and they start influencing causes that they personally care about.
Globally, in concert, we are a wave of heart & soul-led change that may just be in the nick of time to help the world realise its wholeness again too.
It is our time to rise and carry all on the rising tide. Not later, Now !! Are you with me??
Here’s to lovingly releasing your clay and revelling in your undamaged gold… if you don’t know how, get in touch, that’s the whole reason I’m online and not being a total hermit anymore...
Much love, Giselle xo